Useless

I just remembered I wanted to write this, it happened 2 days ago, it was a Thursday. I have just finished my Maths paper and it was terrible, it was my only hope to get an A among the last few papers. I just do not like study for that whole day. Felt disappointed and fed up. I stayed in my room for the whole day, in dark!! My housemates thought I was sleeping, but i was actually staring at my laptop screen. A movie was played, but i did not know what was the story about. I din really watched it, I think it watched me more than I watch it. But I just do not know what to do, I just do not want to do or think of anything. Think back, it was a little bit scary, felt pointless.

Until the night, around 7 something, I came out of my room, I felt so weak, so dull. I went to the balcony to have some fresh air and I started to think what was I doing the whole day? Nothing!!! I got a feeling that if I continue to be like that, I'm going to get whatever mentally disorder it is, then finally kill myself!! Sometimes, emotion can really kills!! Hate that feeling!! and I pray that I would never do something like that again..